The time from when I heard I was going to get a kidney, and my actual transplant was roughly two weeks. What an unusual time for my emotions! At first I was so happy to finally be receiving a kidney. Then a day or two later it really hit me. I’m going to be having a transplant! And fear set in. I remember just wanting to have all my affairs in order and writing down all the bills for Marv and what time of the month they were paid. We have always taken turns doing the finances, but my turn had been quite long this time. So I wanted it to be an easy transition for him. I had this incredible heaviness on my heart. I started making videos for Marv, each of my kids, grandkids and my siblings. I even made some for a couple dear friends. I also planned my entire funeral and wrote it all down so no one would have to be trying to figure out what I wanted. I’ve been there and it’s hard enough to lose someone, yet to have to feel the pressure of honoring them without a clue what they wanted. I also put a note where our life insurance policy was, and who to call, so if Marv wasn’t thinking clearly, it would be easily accessible for him. I talked to my brother Ralph who is a lawyer, about making sure our will still made sense, and that I had a living will in place. You might wonder why was I doing all this. Had I lost my mind? Gone totally bonkers? No, that wasn’t it at all. However, when it truly hit me I was having a transplant, it also hit me I could reject that kidney. Something could happen that I might die during such a major surgery. And I couldn’t rest until I knew I had done everything to make it as easy on my family as possible. That is truly something I had never thought much about before. At least not with such heaviness on my heart. Once I had done all the things I felt I needed to get in order, then I wanted a family gathering with all the kids and grandkids. I remember that night. It was all I could do to hold back my tears as I hugged the grandkids goodbye. Feeling like I just needed to say...please remember me. I sobbed once they left , feeling like it could be the last time I saw them. However, it was an amazing thing that my four ( yes, I said 4!) year old grandson, Liam, did for me. He took my tablet and went around to his sister and all his cousins and made me a video to take with me to the hospital. I can’t even tell you what that meant to me. It was my lifeline after surgery! And it was just from the heart of a 4 year old. Pure love. I will never forget that. I think we can all learn from him to reach out without pause. Just do it. So after that night, I tried to really prepare for my transplant in other ways. Gathering things for the hospital and getting last minute things I might need. Our daughter, Adrienne, from Florida flew up to go with us and made sure that not only us, but the donors family had a place to stay inside the hotel connected to Cleveland Clinic. Our kids who live close by had been doing various things to help us and this was something she felt she could do for us now. My whole family was incredible. My only sister has always been there for me in so many ways. But her and her husband Ron were just always doing something for us! My brother Ralph helped me with so many legal things. And all were stopping by and praying before, during and after my transplant. Our kids were so kind, even with their busy lives. And our grandkids each touched me in their own unique, special way, that I just fell in love with them even more. So the night came to drive to the hospital. I remember that drive. My stomach was in knots, trying not to be a wimp. It was hard to go to sleep in the hotel because my mind just kept racing. We had to be there very early the next day and I was so glad we were able to be right there in the hotel. Then , next morning I woke up with the weirdest feeling of excitement, fear and almost confusion. All my siblings and spouses came up. All our kids were there. It felt so surreal sitting in the waiting room just anticipating what was about to happen. When they took me back to get prepped. I remember all my family, siblings and their spouses included coming into this little room while I waited for them to take me to surgery. As I laid there and looked around at all these people I loved, I couldn’t help but be so grateful for all God had given me. And the fact we could all talk and laugh and even cry meant so much to me. The hardest part was when I had to say goodbye to Marv and our kids. It truly hit me when Marv started to leave the room, turned back around and gave me another hug and kiss with big tears in his eyes.
Then they wheeled me away... so until next time, To God be the Glory! Next post I’ll go from the time of my surgery forward. I am going to post only one or two times a week from now on
🙏 Again, remember my community prayer wall. If you’d like to be on it with specifics, or in name only, please let me know. We are praying and God is working. 😊
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