Transplant time...

My emotions were going up and down like a rollercoaster while they wheeled me back for surgery. They put me in the hallway on a bed to wait for a bit. I just laid there staring at the ceiling while thoughts were racing in my brain. Was that the last time I was going to see my family? Was I ever going to get to see my grandkids grow up? Ever hug Marv again?  It was such a strange feeling. All of a sudden, the doctor came up to me holding a little red and white cooler like you would pack a lunch in. “Here’s your kidney”, he said. I remember thinking, please have the right one. Please have the right one. And they wheeled me in to the operating room where they put me in lala land. As I was waking up, I heard the nurse saying , “You really snore loud!”  And I said to her, “ Does that get me a private room?”  This was truly on my mind. Private rooms were not plentiful for those receiving kidneys. They took me to a special transplant department, but I was worried about not being in a room alone. Mostly because I wanted family to stay with me the first few nights. I felt it was important to have an advocate there in case I couldn’t get help in the middle of the night when I needed it. Which does happen. So, my daughters, sister and Marv took turns staying with me. However, it turned out these nurses were very good and I became very close to three of them. God was truly walking with me. The doctor told Marv that before he was even completely done with the surgery, the new kidney started working. Physically, I was up and walking the next day. Not a lot and not fast. But I was walking. I knew in my heart if I wanted to go home sooner, rather than later, I had to put forth the effort. So I started walking a little more each day. The number one scariest part for me was when they had to take the IV out of my neck. I had to lay perfectly still for a while because it was in a main artery. And if  I moved, it could start really bleeding. Anyone who knows me, knows staying still is not what I do best. But, remember the video from my grandson? They held it above me and I just kept watching it until the time passed. As I said yesterday... it was my lifeline. By the time I left, all the nurses had fallen in love with my grandkids! I also had a catheter in while I was in the hospital, and before I could go home I needed to pee when they took it out. Again I felt scared. Could I actually pee again? How was all this stuff they changed in my body going to work? But luckily, I had no issues. Except when the nutritionist came in and thoroughly confused me, my daughter, Adrienne , and Marv. I had no idea the things they were going to say. And they said it so quickly that on a good day I couldn’t have followed it,  but still being in some pain and on some morphine, I wasn’t the most alert person in the room. Because the anti rejection drugs make the immune system weaker, But what I did hear was I was more susceptible to disease, bacteria etc. There was a list a mile long of things I couldn’t do or eat. I remember I started feeling sick inside. My whole life was about to change in a way I hadn’t thought about before. I had to remain in quarantine for 4 months. There were things they made sound impossible for me to do and ever have a life. And that is when my attitude went down hill. However, as I made my 2 trips a week back and forth to Cleveland, I started realizing they were over explaining for those who wouldn’t do everything they told them to do. So maybe those people would at least do enough. Little did they know , I am the kind of person that if you tell me I have to be careful about my food and don’t go here or there, that I am going to do what they say x 10. So, I drove myself crazy. And I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Marv either because I became so paranoid. Another thing I wasn’t aware of previously, is that they wouldn’t let me out until I could afford to pay for a months worth of meds upfront, which was a few thousand dollars. Again, Holmes County kidney foundation called in and talked to them and worked it out,  so I could get the meds I needed and go home. What a blessing.  So, on the fifth day they let me go home. I was so excited until I got in the car. Then every little thing hit me. The nurses wouldn’t be giving me my pills when I needed them. I was going to have to figure all that out myself. And it was a lot of pills! And they had to be done right! What if we were in an accident on the way home? If I wore my seatbelt would it ruin my kidney if we got hit? The belt went right across where the doctor put my kidney. What was I going to eat when I got home? I hadn’t planned on all these things I would have to think about after I got home. I was only trying to get through the surgery and heal. My brothers and sister and their spouses all stopped by as I felt it was ok.   My oldest brother Stan was so good at making sure I had enough bottled water because I didn’t have a water filter on my refrigerator. Every few days he and his wife, Janice, would show up with water. My brother in law Ron would make a trip to Winesburg to get me the good fudgesicles any time I ran out. Because I was so paranoid , I ate a lot of fudgesicles! That was something I knew that was ok. Meat and fresh fruit completely scared me because of the bacteria. They had drilled those two things into my head.  I honestly went for almost a week with only drinking water when I got home, because I was too scared to eat. Finally a friend from our church made a bunch of meat that was already cooked for me to put in the freezer. That was a God send. My daughter in-law Brooke is really good at organizing. I’ll never forget when I got home, the kids came to see me and she took my medicine list, and put a whole week of pills together for me. I remember sitting there just staring at her thinking, thank you, Brooke, thank you. And the next week my sister came and made sure I did it right. Marv and my kids were also so good to me. People from church brought meals which was extremely helpful. One day it hit me. How blessed am I that people care so much? What do people who don’t have a support system do in cases like this? My heart just broke as I thought about that. I was truly thankful and heartbroken all at the same time. 

 Next Monday I will go into more challenges I came across. I want it to be known that Cleveland Clinic did an amazing job on the surgery and physical care. But the emotional support was very lacking from them. Many times if I would call I felt like I was asking very stupid questions and I would hang up in tears. I think this is another reason I want to put this out there. I want others going through this same thing that there are no dumb questions. Stand your ground. You have never been through this before. It is your body and you know best if something isn’t feeling right. I also wanted to wait until I could have a better perspective about the situation. And so, it has only taken me 4 years and a pandemic to get there. But better late than never! 

I will continue on weekly with my journey  on Mondays. So until then... To God be the Glory! 

😊🙏

When the waves come crashing in remain strong in Gods love and mercy!

OCEAN THOUGHTS...