Coming out of the “holes”...

   We all need to find our way when things change in our lives. However, I was feeling like my GPS was no longer working. I just couldn’t seem to get going in the right direction. After my 5 day stint in the hospital, I struggled to find purpose. I was able to go on with the lesson I learned, that it is better to help someone than to dig a hole for myself. But finding purpose? If I am honest, I pretty much still have trouble finding my purpose. Some days are harder than others. But I have found If I reach out instead of thinking of myself , that is also a wonderful purpose to have. I believe God was not only trying to show me a lesson about helping others. He was also letting me know that my purpose is not gone at all. Reaching out to people with a listening ear. Praying for people when they feel broken or discouraged or scared, is an amazing purpose. I have to be honest and say I had some tough times the first two years after my transplant. But God has always brought me through. Every time I begin to struggle, it is nice to have those memories of how God carried me through rough times before to remind me of Gods faithfulness. Moving forward to January 2017. Where do I go now? It’s been a year already since my transplant. How do I get out of my “ hole”? Anyone who has struggled with anxiety or depression knows exactly what I mean. It can be as if you know things that need to be done, but no idea how you could ever accomplish those things! I mean really, can anyone expect to get 2 things done in 1 day? That’s how bad a lot of days were and still are sometimes for me. Wow. I used to do so many things in one day! I basically never stopped. But things were still different for me a year after surgery. And they honestly still are. I know I wasn’t expecting any of this. I can’t emphasize enough how I thought, along with everyone else, that once I got my new kidney, life would be grand. And for some that is the case and I am so glad it is. But for me, I think I had and still have some things worth learning. And for whatever reason God wants me to not only read about how to help people with this horrific depression, He wants me to experience it. The thing is, I can guarantee you I will always be understanding of someone’s depression. God has shown me that just reading about and going to classes (which I did) was not enough for me. I had gone through ”Stephen Ministry” classes at our church. It is an amazing program and the classes were fantastic. As a Stephen Minister, we are assigned a care receiver who is asking for someone to walk with them. I had 2 through this ministry. But since my transplant I have been able to truly walk with some people that God has simply just put in my path. I know God is choosing to use me in ways I might not understand, but He also has allowed me to go through some intense “classes” by experience, so I am able to reach those He feels I need to be available for . There really is nothing like human experience when learning how to truly relate to those in need. I can’t say I was able to crawl out of my hole right away. But I do know God had a hold of my hand and helped pull me up as He saw fit. I am so very thankful for that. So my strategy these days is to try to remember if it’s a sunny day or a rainy day, or perhaps both of those in the same day, as in the pictures below. God has been faithful so many times in my life. And God will always continue to be faithful. And when I find myself crawling back into my hole, I just need to search for Gods hand to pull me out!  😊To God be the glory!