“ There is always hope...”

So one year down. I was glad to be that far along. But I still had so many anxieties and concerns about eating. I felt as though they were pushing me to eat more processed food because that wouldn’t have the bacteria that could be in fresh foods. ( which made no sense to me, but I did it.)  So I had been doing a lot of that for a year. And my weight just kept going up and up. By this time I had probably gained a good 25 pds. I felt miserable. But I still was struggling with eating other things. So I just continued. I started doing a few more things to try to get out. My shakiness from the meds had not fully taken over at this point yet, but enough it was extremely annoying. I think these first two years were just a constant trial for me. Nothing specific, I just was not feeling like me. When I write things like this I’m not trying to be a downer. I’m not seriously depressed right now. I’m simply telling the truth. I’m not sugar coating things to make it seem as though everything was great. Because it certainly wasn’t. But at the time I tried my best to not be a complete disaster around other people. Which is a trial in itself. There were a few people I knew I could tell how it really was. But beyond that I kept it all in. Mostly because I felt if I started telling just anyone, I would totally just start telling everyone. And that’s never a good idea. But beyond my weight gain and my continued depression,, I have to say I ventured out more that year. And when I did, one day God sent me someone to help me. I was talking to someone who’s husband had a kidney transplant and she told me it was a good 2 years for him until he felt “normal” again. I can’t even emphasize how much that helped me. It gave me hope for the future. And she was right. It was about 2-2 1/2 years until I felt at all normal. At least my new normal. I think the reason I’m saying this is so if anyone out there is struggling with this part of a kidney journey, you are not alone. There is hope. And I’ve found so many times God truly knew exactly when I needed those amazing rays of hope. He is an amazing God and His timing is perfect. So, year two started out feeling miserable because of the weight gain. Still struggling with anxiety. But filled with hope for the future!  There is always hope because God is good. 😊 To God be the glory! ❤️